Unfunny Laws

This will be the first entry in a continuing blog segment called, "Unfunny Laws." The law is not funny. The next time someone makes light of the law, imagine your beloved mother sitting naked in a forest with poop on her head, growling at the moon. As the angry night clamors on, imagine a wolf cub screeching as his starving father sinks his Satanic Teeth into young cubby flesh. Lightning strikes a sleeping sparrow down from the tree, as a beaver nearby falls on its side for no reason at all. As the sun rises, we return to your mother pulling herself out of the mud. Can you see the moss and broken twigs hanging from her ass crack? She dimly perceives the futility of her life as she tries to gnaw hardened black bark from a dying tree. We move closer to this reality each time the dignity of the law is mocked. The Law is not funny. The law is totally Unfunny.

Today's unfunny law comes from section 8 of Chicago's Municipal Code:


8-4-020 Inciting riots, etc.

It is unlawful to create a clear and present danger of a riot or assault, battery, or other unlawful trespass against any person or group of persons because of his or their race, religion, color, national origin, or ancestry, or to create a clear and present danger of arson, vandalism, defacement, or other unlawful trespass against property because of the race, religion, color, national origin, or ancestry of the owner, possessor, or authorized user or users of said property, or, in the case of a cemetery, of the decedent buried therein.

The term "person" as used in this section shall include one or more individuals, copartnerships, corporations, firms, organizations, associations, leagues, or other bodies.

Any person violating the provisions of this section shall be fined not less than $25.00 nor more than $200.00 or imprisoned for not less than 10 days or more than six months, or both, for each offense. (Prior code § 193-1.1)