Unfunny Graduate Students/Sham Syllabus

one sham syllabus:

Realizing Swedenborg: A Feminist Perspective

Swedenborg has argued that the angelic is masculine. From moistened genitals to heavenly sentinels, this class will explore the ongoing discourse of divinity as fertile moisture. Traversing our way through the Levant of the Swedenborgian angelic to the Sudan of the Dogonic blood sacrifice of Ogotemmêli, we shall reinvigorate the discourse of the feminine. The methodology shall be analytic: Quinean schematizations shall be used to establish the omega-completeness of feminist epistemology. As time permits, we will examine the possibility of formalizing menstruation and lactation cycles into a binary Turing womb. Clitoral mutilation shows itself as an instantiation of the functionalist deployment of Ockham’s Razor, dutifully slicing away the superfluous qualic mound of effeminate moisture.

Chomsky has proven that when deprived of its clitoris, the Turing womb reduces to a Chinese Room wherein meaning evaporates, leaving only the scabby desert of ossified masculine functionalist vacuity. Our task shall be to develop a feminist formalism that rearticulates the coherence of vaginal hermeneutics, like one’s wife tightly screwed into her special sanitary napkin, who then becomes like a child, a painful sort of fat European maggot which, dissolving in the heat, is a permanent diarrhea. A diarrhea of Swedenborgian proportions.