Record Review

I posted this review on amazon.com a year or two ago, but I think it's blogworthy:

Kathie Lee Gifford's Born For You. (5 stars)

If you don't buy this album, then you are an idiot.

Any third world child laborer could bang a stick on a very empty can, while screeching out barbaric and unmelodious jibber jabber, and it could properly be called music. But what should we call a more glorious, though baroquely bloated, and very jolly sonic emanation; one that sounds as revolting and sublimely insipid as the album, "I was Born for You [!]" by the newly "slutted out" Kathie Lee Gifford? This is an important question, so I shall return to it later in this review.

For now, we will pursue the issue of whether or not this music would be sold at Wal-mart. We have not yet determined whether or not Gifford's album can be properly called music, or musical. Thus, this question cannot be confidently asked of the album "Born for You[!]", for even if there is evidence to support this contention, we could not assume therefore that "Born For You!" qua musical entity even exists.

When does odiousness become a form of knowing? If you don't know the answer to this question, you need to crank up the Kathy Lee. Right now. Just as some silly Jesuit might proclaim: That is My dog, That dog is a father, Therefore that dog is my father-no one could deny the claim that because Gifford was born, it is therefore established that she was Born for You. Just as the name of her album implies.

So, I conclude that you really need to hear this album. It doesn't matter if you're a rum-jhumbi banging coconuts against your chest, or a transgendered methadone bride...Kathy Lee Gifford was Born for you! When one imagines the dialectical relationship between musical standards, such as those on Gifford's album, and the negative whirling bacchanalian swirl of the transgenerational continuum of prog-rock sexuality, one can sometimes become frozen in formal quagmire of a corroded yet sonorous hyper-consciousness. That is why it is very important to remember that Kathy Lee Gifford is a very bad woman, who serves the devil 24 hours a day.

Buy a copy for yourself, and that lady you like from church!

Is this Real?

Isn't it strange to think that we are being repeatedly molested by our pets while we are sleeping in our beds?

Observation

I am glad that I am not a toothbrush.